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Accepting What Is


The first step to healing anything is to accpet that it's there. It happened, it likely wasn't fair, and you're still holding on to the energy. It can feel triggering to do this, as if accepting what is equates to forgiveness or that it was ok (it doesn't have to and it may not be), yet leaning in and sitting with what actually happened is essential to true healing and release.


Not accepting is denial at its worst and distraction at its best. Either way, it's keeping you from moving on and taking up the energetic space you could be using for things like abundance, connection, and true alignment. So we can probably agree, accepting is where it's at, but how the hell do you actually do it?


1. Decide that you want to.


It sounds pretty obvious, but maybe you're not ready. Forcing yourself to accept anything simply won't work. It will activate your nervous system making you panic and may even do more harm. Perhaps what you need to accept is that you're still grieving or in the thick of trauma, and it's perfectly ok to stay where you are for now. However, if you're feeling ready to take the leap, keep on reading.


2. Feel your feels.


The emotions around what happened are stuck in your body until you are wiling to feel them. It's an uncomfortable, yet necessary part of the process. Do what you need to in order to feel safe and present for the old energy to rise. Journal out your feelings, scream into a pillow, dance it out, or talk to a trusted friend. It doesn't matter how you do this, just that you do so without judgement. The thoughts that arise don't have to be proven, or believed, or even true ... they just need a pathway to leave. Give yourself permission to do this unedited.


3. Clear your energy and ground.


Once you've released the energy of what was, you need to create sacred space within yourself to accept what is. Clear yourself using smoke or sound or whatever technique you prefer, then get yourself into nature. Place your feet on the ground (or your hands on a tree) and ask for Mother Earth to take what's left. It's important you feel clear to carry on, and it's totally ok to repeat the previous step a few times until this happens for you. There is no rush.


4. Find neutrality.


Now that the emotional charge is gone it's time to reframe your experience in neutral terms. Do your best to release the notions of right and wrong and simply come back to what is. Allow judgement to cease and view the situation without attachment to any specific outcome (especially the one you were wanting). Create a statement of truth (such as "I lost my job" and not "that fucking asshole fired me for no good reason") and repeat it to yourself until it feels settled in your body, until you can start to accept it. This takes time and will likely not happen all at once. Keep going.


Note: This is a process I have used myself many times over. Sometimes it works and sometimes I get stuck. There are often deeper causes sitting below the surface such as past live experiences, ancestral patterning, enmeshed energies, and the like. If you find that after repeated attempts that you just can't accept what is, feel free to reach out for help.

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